Suburban Legend

by Õblívîå

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1.
I can feel the caffeine coursing through my veins manically scrolling time the telephone wires are hurting my head to be with you is to walk in dread and soon you’ll be disgusted by your own existence and soon you will question the validity of your own body all the tension of the world return to a void in one being devoid of substance been getting pretty nihilistic these days there’s no difference between being dead or alive I’m engaging in high-risk behavior again vulnerable to someone who isn’t your friend is this the beginning or is this the end? the beginning the end the beginning the end I’m engaging in high risk-behavior again vulnerable to someone who isn’t your friend is this the beginning or is this the end? the beginning the end the beginning the end I could be your weak goddess your vision on a mountain mix you a nice steaming potion where would I be without your endless devotion? eventually you'll crumble from the weight of the world eventually you'll snap from the pressure of a rotten core all the tension of the world return to a void in one being devoid of substance been getting pretty nihilistic these days there’s no difference between being dead or alive I’m engaging in high-risk behavior again vulnerable to someone who isn’t your friend is this the beginning? or is this the end? the beginning the end the beginning the end I’m engaging in high-risk behavior again vulnerable to someone who isn’t your friend is this the beginning? or is this the end? the beginning the end the beginning the end
2.
that feeling of loss in the mourning when you can’t get out of bed the terror of another day in your halo of dread they killed another angel martyred another girl in the looming of tomorrow her empty lonesome twirl and why cant we work the nerves to our full advantage? and what’s the point of reason if I can’t shake the rage? the rage the rage I can’t shake the rage the rage the rage I can’t shake the rage the rage the rage I can’t shake the rage that feeling of loss in the mourning when you can’t get out of bed the terror of another day in your halo of dread they killed another angel martyred another girl in the looming of tomorrow her empty lonesome twirl why can’t we work the nerves to our full advantage? whats the point of reason if I cant shake the rage? the rage the rage I can’t shake the rage the rage the rage I can’t shake the rage
3.
sometimes I try to be alone don’t try to walk me home …try to be alone I’m beginning to feel alive for the first time I’m beginning to live for real this time I don’t want to die so young gone in the deep woods I don’t want to go the way of all of my friends wasted in the suburbs again wandered home lost and worried faded in the fringe again running from… rushed and hurried I’m beginning to feel alive for the first time I’m beginning to live for real this time will we see an end to this violence or will we indulge in the fetish of a silence? will we see an end to this violence or will we indulge in the fetish of a silence?
4.
Suburbia 06:59
the most important thing is that our family stay together will we see an end to this violence or will we indulge in the fetish of a silence?
5.
because of you I fear life more than death take me into your portal I want to know the taste of your dying breath pull on my arms I want to be reckless we’ll never know the truth hold me in the darkness take me into your arms I want to know this life beyond reach because of you
6.
faith in humanity an all time low young, dumb, and full of cum but will we sleep when we’re dead? will we rest our pretty… our pretty little heads? last night I was a complete drunk bitch last night I ruined everything x3 late nights and we caught feels hater or lover it’s all the same to me your body is a trap but I'm giving you the keys it’s all the same to me fuck what I said I wanted I was drunk fuck what I said I wanted I was drunk fuck what I said I wanted I was drunk emotionally unavailable perpetually alone forever x8 spring into depression where there’s a pill there’s a gay fate had other plans life of leisure a mess of wires romantic toxicity sexual destruction severe antiquity emotional seduction romantic toxicity sexual destruction severe antiquity emotional seduction I want you to dispose of me I want you to dispose of men when does the spiraling stop? when does the spiraling stop? romantic toxicity sexual destruction severe antiquity emotional seduction I want you to dispose of me I want you to dispose of men when does the spiraling stop? when does the spiraling stop? I want you to dispose of me I want you to dispose of men when does the spiraling stop? when does the spiraling stop? romantic toxicity sexual destruction severe antiquity emotional seduction when does the spiraling stop? when does the spiraling stop? when does the spiraling stop? when does the spiraling stop? when does the spiraling stop?
7.
when darkness comes I will hold you until the end of time
8.
my fire has burned out but I’ll last in your mind’s eye the sculpted fantasy down to the wire they’re not listening they’re just waiting for their chance to speak my fire has burned out but I’ll last in your mind’s eye the sculpted fantasy down to the wire they’re not listening just waiting for their chance to speak chance to shine so wryly put they’re not listening just waiting for their chance to speak chance to shine social medium what are you looking for? who’s path will you destroy? I’m at a low in my life but i’ve been high all year x6 get close to my fire what you become says way more about you than where you're from what you become says way more about you than where you're from what you become says way more about you than where you're from
9.
I've come to the conclusion that safety’s an illusion I've come to the stark realization that smoothened by persuasion we convince ourselves of something false I want nothing more than our destruction safety is when nothing happens safety is when nothing happens safety is when nothing happens safety is when nothing happens this world is so cruel and I’m thankful for the angels who survive it all the world doesn't deserve us I would laugh and cry with you in the same sentence that’s what some call an echo chamber safety is when nothing happens safety is when nothing happens safety is when nothing happens safety is when nothing happens (safety is when nothing happens) (safety is when nothing happens) (safety is when nothing happens) (safety is when nothing happens)
10.
I’m like dropping hints that I’m violently disintegrating

about

What you become says way more about you, than where you’re from. I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of mythology. Gods, monsters, archetypes, and legends that dance and elaborate the theatre of life, a mirror for society. I think of the self in this same way: an invention that we develop and that others make for us as we live our lives, both of these ideas eventually creating a deeper truth. I wanted to weave a tapestry of stories about growing up queer in the suburbs of Philadelphia and reflecting back on my personal mythology in a traumatizing household, to see what lessons I could learn from my past, as I remember it in fragments, sounds, and stories others have told me. The themes that remained present throughout this entire project are of violence, the contradiction of safety, and the changing roster of who you consider family throughout a lifetime. I wanted to meditate on the perpetual violence within the seemingly calm world of suburbia, what happens behind closed doors of stark beige cookie-cutter homes with chestnut rooftops. I tried to capture this essence in the form of ambient noise and weird electronic sexuality: a howling chorus of winter valkyries desperately chirping sonic landscapes through the distortion of teenage emotion and the trials of familial secrecy and judgement. Will we see an end to this violence, or will we indulge in the fetish of a silence? With Suburban Legend I fathomed indulgence, self-destructive habits, and the game of risk that we play to experience joy in sterile environments. One day, while writing this album, I came across a sign in Lowe’s that read, “Safety is when nothing happens,” which easily became a personal thesis. I’ve come to the conclusion that safety’s an illusion. This is a suburban myth to me, a suburban legend if you will, that preventing danger from happening is better than experiencing the world in its austere unfamiliarity.

credits

released February 21, 2019

Music, lyrics, vocals and mixing by Lucia Honey

Production on The Rage by Baron
Production on Strip Mall Sunrise, Dipping Into Light Forever, and The Suburban Myth by CH4RM (Cameron McGill)
Production on It's 5am Somewhere by Mistress
Production on Emotionally Unavailable by Perfect Health

Recorded in New Orleans and Mexico City by Lucia Honey and Yair Kobayashi
Mastering by Jacob Rosati

Cover photo by Chris Berntsen

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Õblívîå New Orleans, Louisiana

your personal soundtrack to our crumbling social sphere amidst a deteriorating empire.

mystic noise diva narrating the fall of mankind in a pitch-shifted key.

Lucia Honey uses vocal modification, noise, and dissonant pop sounds to invoke sonic womanhood. she reverses feminine sound as a weapon, a cathartic battlecry: like hard femme heaven.
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